Last stick in the pack

I realized my nicotine induced rage has been on pretty high lately. 1 box a day. Now that says something. Even for me. Knowing that each stick puts me closer and closer to death. How my lungs could give out or be eroded by some cancerous disease.

I lately have been grinding my teeth while I’m asleep. Sore gums and even that tingling feeling of your gum being abused. I admit. I have anger management issues. 

Dissatisfaction of life. Dissatisfaction as to how my life has been. There is always something that annoys me or causes me to have a sudden change of mood. Maybe I need help.

Here as I write this; while smoking of course; I hope to find that point of peace that I have in life. Perhaps when I am 6 feet dead would I be able to find the answers. I’m a lost cause indeed.

FAT~

Yup. My ma’am at the working place has been calling me fat. I wonder why. It hurts deep inside. She laughs about it and smiles while calling me fat. That deep pain in your heart. When clearly you are trying your very best to lose weight. It hurts me. Really it does :(

oyesshedid

Sri Harmandir Sahib (also known as The Golden Temple or Darbar Sahib) is a Sikh holy shrine situated in Amritsar, Punjab. A visit to the Sri Harmandir Sahib is an awe-inspiring and a very humbling experience.  Regardless of religion or gender, all are welcome at the Sri Harmadir Sahib, as well as take part in the Langar (The Free Kitchen).  With  the Gurbani (hymns) echoing in the background, and the devotees doing sewa (service), the beauty of the complex is multiplied.  Truly a humbling experience, the Golden Temple is a symbol of peace, equality, harmony, and tolerance. The very teachings of Sikhism.”

My hometown.